Tell Me the Truth: Real Leaders Want the Truth

There is a phrase in the biblical account of David that most leadership books skip over.

After David fled from Saul and took refuge in the cave of Adullam, around him gathered a community of men who became his mighty support team,  his men of valor. Men of courage, of strength, willing to fight alongside him in the most dangerous moments of his wilderness years.

But what made these people valuable to David was not primarily their military capability. It was something harder to find and harder to keep. They saw him clearly. Not the version of David that Saul's court had celebrated. The actual man, tired, hunted, sometimes uncertain, carrying a destiny that the circumstances around him were doing nothing to confirm. And they stayed.

A person of valor is not someone who tells you that you are doing well. They are someone who sees you clearly enough to tell you when you are not.

I have had men of valor in my life. They did not flatter me. They held me to the standard I had set for myself even when I was negotiating with it internally. They corrected me when I was wrong. Sometimes bluntly, but always with genuine investment in my becoming who I was called to be. They pushed me past the resistance I had to my own growth, which is a specific and demanding kind of support that is very different from encouragement.

In all my years of coaching leaders, I have found that a significant predictor of long-term leadership effectiveness is not just talent, or strategic thinking. It was not limited to the ability to be an effective communicator. It is whether the leader has people around them who will tell them the truth.

Many leaders do not. They have built a circle that reflects their preferences back at them.

Who in your life plays this role? Not who affirms you almost everyone has that. Who sees you clearly enough to tell you what you genuinely need to hear?

This is one of the central ideas in my community and in Fight Like David. Join the conversation at: www.linkedin.com/in/t-victor-edwards-sr-735b89a.